it's june

Lets just not get into the whole, "I haven't blogged in awhile, ba-derp-a-derrrr..." You know, I've documented my life in various places online, and inevitably, I return to them, read or look back over and hate how I look/sound/come across. It's just funny how times change, how people [I] grow.

I was recently talking to Rebekah about how it's hard for her to focus her food blog because she likes too many different kinds of food. I can't even begin to dream of focusing a blog on even any one subject. I've thought about creating blogs about...

• food: this one would be kind of a, "Oh, look how I struggle, and how I really hate this" kind of blog/project. I've gone through spurts in cooking. The first was in college, when I first lived on my own and first figured out how to make more than instant mac & cheese and frozen pizzas. The second was when I first really lived on my own in Michigan for three months. I didn't have many friends. I didn't want to eat fast food or go to restaurants by myself, so I started getting in the kitchen a lot more. I mostly made various kinds of casseroles to eat throughout the week. My current spurt may be unending, because I live with a boy now, and boys eat a lot of food. ;) It's just a lot more fun to cook for the two of us than just for me. Aaron helps me out when he can, and he's always more than appreciative of my efforts.
• books: I love to read. I love to read more than I love to do just about anything. I've recently been watching a few book-tubers on the Youtubes ... and reading book blogs and keeping my Goodreads account meticulously updated. I could do what they do, right? Meh. I'd really mostly rather be reading than talking about reading...but still, maybe.
• fitness: because I've been doing a ton of this lately ...working out. Since January I've been lifting, running, climbing, swimming, practicing yoga and taking aerial silks classes (correction - I took one aerial silks class, but I'd really, really like to go to another one soon, so I'm adding it to the list anyway). Wouldn't it be fun to follow my fitness progress? Maybe. But, if I were to write a fitness blog, it would mostly just highlight my athletic mediocrity. "OMG, guys I totally flailed on this 5.10a today. ... Sheesh, a 30-minute 5k. Speedy, huh? ... I swam faster than the fat, old man in the lane next to mine! Go team!" Yup...crossing this one off the list. Still, I'm not competitive, except with myself, and it feels good to be moving a lot!

Anyway, forget all of that. There's no way I could ever write a blog on one subject. I like too many things. "Jack of all trades, master of none, blah blah." So, I give up. This is what you people get to read ...if you're still paying attention.

And if you are, here are some updates:

I still love writing - even though I don't get to say it's what I do for a living anymore. I've still been doing plenty of writing and editing. I'm in the final stages of editing my national novel writing month novel from this past November. It's going well, except for that somewhere between writing it and this round of editing it, I've lost a semi-important 2k chunk of the story somewhere. I'm starting to feel pretty unorganized. I might take a break. I decided two days ago that I'm going to camp ...and participating in the summer writing challenge. Why not? I think it'll feel good to get some new ideas down on (virtual) paper.

In other creative news, Aaron and I shot our first wedding together. Two of his friends got married two weeks ago in downtown Little Rock, so we hightailed it back home for a whirlwind weekend. I think we did a pretty good job of it. I'm not sure if it's something we'll make a habit of, except for friends and family. But, I liked playing assistant and capturing some special moments. Maybe I'll post some photos here or on flickr soon.

In more fitness-related news, I have a goal I finally feel ready to share with the world. I'm "training" for a half-marathon! Specifically, I want to run this half marathon, which takes place the weekend before Aaron and I plan to fly to Montana for an almost week-long climbing trip (which I couldn't be more excited for)! I'm up to nine miles. I'll make an attempt at my first 10-miler sometime next week. For those of you who know me - or more specifically - who went to elementary school with me and remember me being unable to complete a .25-mile-ish run around the playground - this is HUGE. I've always hated running, and I still do, to be honest. The only good part about it is the runner's high after it's over. I'm shocked every time I meet a new distance goal, and I've never felt so thankful for my health and just being able to move forward than I do after a run. I'm still ridiculously slow, but I'll deal with that later ...maybe ...ugh.

There's lots of good, new music out lately. I love the new Jack White album ... Sigur Ros ... Edward Sharpe ... etc. A few months ago I read an article in the amazing Garden & Gun about a cajun band called Feufollet. We've been jamming to them ever since. Incidentally, their music is pretty awesome to run to! The way I've listened to music has also changed with the advent of Spotify. I'm late talking about this, but I wasn't late to the game! I got one of the first U.S. accounts, and have been loving it ever since. I have a playlist called "albums I want" instead of buying them on iTunes. Crazy. Music, though, is still a love that's been kind of pushed away, semi-recently. Listening to music throughout the day wasn't possible at my last job, but it now, and for that I'm thankful. Recommendations are always welcome and appreciated.

On a more timely note, today is Aaron's 27th birthday! 27 sounds old, huh? Aaron doesn't seem old, though. He seems just the right age. I'm planning a cake, gifts and a trip to our favorite local haunt for dinner. I'd love to find some good ice cream or gelato. This post from one of my favorite California-based blogs has my mouth watering for it. Last night, I remembered that we've been together for two rounds of birthdays now. It's officially a year and a half now. I tried to remember what we did for my birthday this year. It seemed uneventful. Then I remember, it was actually the first visit we made to El Ray, and I had a delicious mojito and some mushroom quesadillas.

Times like this do make me homesick, though. If we were home, we might go out with friends tonight and have a family dinner with Aaron's dad & co. this weekend, or in a week or two... but, we're all alone. Which is still not the easiest thing. And even though I've been here for over six months now, the new town still feels new. Nothing (besides our beautiful, amazing apartment) is settled in, really. Today, this feeling probably isn't being helped out by the gray skies and drizzly rain, which prevented Boone and me from going on a run. Oh well.

Sorry for all the words. I hope the links were helpful and interesting, and least, and hopefully whatever posts follow will at least be broken up by some pretty pictures. Until then...

new year instagrams part 2

I kept up with the instagram challenge! Today I'm starting over with day 1. The final post will be days 1-9, but here's what I collected during the second half of January:

new year instagramps part 1

I mentioned doing an instagram challenge awhile back. The concept is that every day, you take a picture on a given theme. Today the theme is "something I bought..." so I chose this:



green tea I bought to bring to work.

Here's a sampling of the other days so far:







Tomorrow I'll photograph "something sweet." And yes, photograph. I remember a few years ago when iPhone photos from one of the American wars was nominated for a POY award. Beautiful things can be made this way. If they are sincere, who are we to discount them?

on moving forward

Aaron finally made it down to Montgomery for good. on Sunday. Before he arrived, I started watching Felicity on Netflix, cleaned the house & did laundry, cooked and generally did my best to soak up my last little bit of living alone. Crazy. ...and I said I'd never have another roommate.



Yesterday we finally made it over to Horse Pins 40 for some bouldering. We ate Chick-Fil-A in Prattville and Chipotle in Hoover and scored a good deal on a hang board for the apartment, and I found a three-year-old down Patagonia vest for half-off. The very friendly folks at Mountain High Outfitters told me it had been lost in a warehouse for years... I think it was waiting for me. It may be my new favorite clothing item.

Basically, a pretty good three-day weekend with lots to look forward to this week: unpacking, seeing my aunt on Thursday and getting paid again!

finishing a novel

I have no idea how, but I wrote 50,000 words in 28 days. I haven't written this much and this consistently since high school. I am thrilled and relieved to be done! But, as I've described to a few people already, I feel like I just birthed a really ugly, really sickly baby who needs lots of surgeries and things to survive...

It's gonna be fine. It just needs a little TLC first.

So, that's what's next. I finished mid-day yesterday, and I've just started reading what I did....I'm making a ton of editing notes, and hopefully in another month or a few, this ugly baby will be ready to be formally presented in one way or another.

Thanks for all your support!

being a journalist

Today is my last day as a writer/reporter at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, and for right now, I suppose it's my last day as a "real" journalist. In my new job, I won't be able to technically tell people I'm a journalist anymore. Writer? Yes. I have always been, and will always be a writer. That kind of designation does not change with a job description.

But, since it's my last day working for the state-wide newspaper here in Arkansas, I thought I'd make a list of what I've learned here...



1. Ethics are still important
I started this job when I was 22, and now I'm 24. I've been a woman the whole time. ;) It's hard being a young woman in the South and staying ethical as a journalist. I had dinner with police chiefs and with city mayors who felt obligated to pay for me. Small town chamber banquets wanted me to eat their catered food, and as I got to know these people and take part in their community it got harder to resist.
In journalism school, I learned never to accept gifts... but what if they're forced upon you? What if the mayor grabs the bill before you can tell him he can't? What if people will be offended if you don't eat their home-made pie? What if someone mails you a really weird necklace made from a domino (true story...)?
It helped me to use the line, "I can't let you pay for that. It's company policy. You don't want to get me in trouble do you?"
But sometimes that doesn't even work.
I say, it's a judgment call. Be as ethical as you can all the time. But in the South, you do have to play the game a little differently, and I think that's OK.

2. Get out of your comfort zone
Some very uncomfortable things happened to me in this job. I had to say, "Hi, this is Caroline Zilk with the River Valley and Ozark Edition of the Democrat-Gazette," about 15 times a day for two years. That in itself is exhausting.
I had to talk to people who had lost their homes in natural disasters and mayors who hated my guts enough to kick me out of city hall.
Was it tough? Yes. Was it rewarding? Yes.
Push through the awkward feelings and hold back the tears. Get the job done.

3. Make friends
Sources are not on some kind of white pedestal. They can be your friends outside of work, and they will help things run smoothly.
I've written before about how I feel especially at home in Heber Springs. A lot of that is due to Melisa Gardner, the executive director of the chamber of commerce there. I learned a lot from her during my time here: most "importantly," I guess is what was going on in town & who the interesting characters were. More than that though, she is an example of the kind of woman I'd like to be someday. She is a strong, independent woman who runs a great organization and is always kind, and she's a great mom to three very talented sons. She is an encourager, a supporter, and I will miss her dearly along with all of the other people I've connected with throughout my coverage area.

4. Use your skills
To the convergence bunch who might be reading: I took this job to write, and only to write. At a big newspaper that employs photographers to take pictures and a web staff to deal with the online side of things. But, I did get to shoot a little bit, design a little bit and help out with the web a little bit. You can make it what you want. If you have the skills, find a way to use it. A good editor or supervisor will appreciate that you're talented and willing to step outside your box.

5. When in doubt, keep your head down
The top thing I wish Mizzou would have prepared me for that it didn't, necessarily, was the actual work environment at a media outlet. Or maybe it was just me being all inexperience and innocent. I thought doing what I like to do every day would mean that things were perfect. They aren't, and that's a big reason why I'm moving on. I have learned that there are problems in every work place - you just have to strike a balance and learn how to deal with it.
When things are bad though, sometimes the best you can do is keep your head down, try not to be noticed and look for the silver lining.

I'm so lucky to have had this opportunity to truly come home for awhile. I moved to Little Rock as a child not too long after the newspaper wars ended, and the Democrat and the Gazette became one, and I really did (for the most part) love working at my home-town paper and covering the beautiful, amazing and interesting people throughout the River Valley and Ozark area. I'm thankful for all of the great memories and stories I have to take with me.

starting a novel

November means NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which means ...a lot of writing, if I'm participating, which I've attempted to do for the past several years. November just seems busy, and, of course there are always a million reasons not to do something.

I'm baffled that some people are still just hearing about this project for the first time this year, and still baffled at other people who can't seem to make it past the first few hundred words ....people will silly mantras like, "the secret to writing is writing."

Um, I guess that's true. Sure....

I don't know what to say about it. You've got to want it. It's a "head down, power through," kind of deal.

I prefer to participate kind of on my own without plugging my words into the site. I don't tend to to thrive on support from others. Instead, I do my best to push myself, and lately, give myself the benefit of the doubt when I know I'm busy and just sick of writing all day anyway...