Fire

"Fire operates at a number of different scales. The smallest is that of a campfire, where you're just mixing fuel and oxygen and a heat source and theoretically, it perpetuates itself in time." --- Dr. John Bailey, Oregon State University

I've been working on a story about fire and fire science for work. Thus, thinking a lot about it, and about all the wonderful campfires Aaron has built for us. :)

Anyway... I've also just been plugging along. Working. Cleaning. Last weekend was nice if not a little rainy. We spent Sunday in Portland enjoying IKEA, Foster burger, shopping in the Pearl and seeing Dr. Dog play with The Lumineers.

I've also been drinking more tea and wearing more boots and scarves. More of that to come, I'm sure.

Homesick

Author's note: I'm sorry that this is my first post of the week. Last weekend was nice! Spent with my friend Rebekah, but I didn't take many pictures. Most of my weekday pictures come from fun recipes, but it's been a week of leftovers and lacking innovation in the food department. But that's OK too. Last night we had roasted broccoli and potatoes, which are always delicious and simple, and even though this post might sound a little sad, I'm actually REALLY, REALLY happy. So happy that I have to find things like this to complain about, so...read on, or not.

Homesickness is a feeling that sneaks up on me too often these days. It washes over me and then settles with a prickle in my eyes and forces a downturned smile, the same one I tease my dad for making all the time.

It's 100 degrees today in Arkansas for the first time this summer, and I'm thousands of miles away wearing leggings under my dress. Everyone in my office is complaining about the air conditioner being out in our building. I'm still cold at my desk. I never minded the heat back home too much, and I liked the way the humidity felt like the air was giving you a hug.

I was talking about the air conditioner problem with a coworker earlier. She's a transplant from Atlanta and maintains a slight drawl. I told her about one of my favorite feelings: Leaving a freezing cold, air conditioned building and hopping into a car that's been baking in the sun for hours; then turning on the air conditioner and slowly cooling off again.

She and a few other coworkers looked at me like I was crazy. The enjoyment of this feeling is not a Southern "thing". It's just something I like. Aaron understands it, and he likes it too, and I guess that's why I married him. I can't even further explain what I like about this feeling, I just do, so I don't think I should have to.

A few hours later, I had the office all to myself, and decided some blast some Maylene [and the Sons of Disaster], which is a Southern metal band from Birmingham that Aaron introduced me to. Their song 'Raised by the Tide' knocked me over (even though I don't appreciate the reference to Alabama sports...): I've covered this country far and wide ... BUT I'LL ALWAYS BE A SON OF THE SOUTH ... I'll fight to the death to make our name proud ... Cause I ain't got nothin' to lose!"

I don't know.

I've been craving Mexican food lately. I'm not sure if that was a subconscious kind of homesickness or not. This morning Aaron and I were talking about our expectations. I said I thought our first Mexican food experience in Oregon would be good because, well, there are a lot of Mexicans here. But, then again, maybe not, because Mexican food, in my experience is a little like sushi. When you eat sushi, the quality decreases the further you get from the coast. Same with Mexican food and the South.

I at least know that when we go out for Mexican here, I will have to ask for chips and salsa, and cheese dip won't even be on the menu. And that kind of brings back the prickling feeling in my eyes again. Stupid...

The thing is, I love it out here.

But I still want to die on Petit Jean. I'll be surprised if that ever changes.

For a story I'm working on, I'm talking to a lot of writers about what having a "sense of place" means. I'm going to eastern Oregon in a couple of weeks to talk about "writing in the West," which I guess is what I'm doing now, but really all I can think about is summer in the South...

Weeks at the lake house with my cousins
Fishing & not wanting to get into Lake Catherine
Cheerleading camp in Fayetteville in gyms with no AC
Sleeping on the futon on the porch
Sitting at the computer all day, writing, with Crystal Light & Lipton pasta
Nighttime drives with my dad in his old Camero
Outdoor pools...the smell of chlorine
Drinking on the river in 100 degree heat
The Maumelle River pullouts on Highway 10
The levee in Riverdale
Horseshoe Canyon Ranch
Driving down Cantrell hill with all my windows down
Heber Springs, Sugar Loaf, Sandy Beach, Greers Ferry
Seeing oil rise off the pavement in traffic on I-30 toward Dallas
Sno-cones
Hillcrest

...That's all I got...

Things I've been thinking about lately

This blog entry comes to you in three parts.

And this is a picture of a duck (a duck that I walk past every day, a duck that knows secrets & can see through your soul).

ONE:

So, lately, I've been focusing a lot on my faults. And I mean that in a good way. If there is one. Anyway, these are the ones I've identified:

•I'm judgmental: too hard on myself & others
•I'm quick to anger: often taking out the frustration I feel for myself and my own faults on others I love ...often taking offense, small comments too seriously
•I'm impatient: I want things done when I want them done. Usually before they actually get done...

All of this boils down to the fact that I'm a perfectionist. I always have been I'm also me, which is awesome.

"You know what? You're an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it's gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life." -Louise Fitzhugh, Harriet the Spy

TWO:

I've been thinking about religion. We were going to go to church this weekend, but we slept in...

I like thisThis American Life story about a "bad Christian". I relate to it a lot.

I'm wearing the cross necklace I got at Trinity College in Dublin. It's Presbyterian. I consider myself pretty Presbyterian. I'm a Calvinist at least. Those five points have always made sense to me. They're something I hold on to.

But, I also believe in Bravery. Compassion. Love. Those things - as always - win out.

It's a process.

“I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.” -Alice Walker, The Color Purple

THREE:

Education. Continuing it rather. My new job comes with the benefit of a tuition break, and I like the idea of school. I like the idea of challenging myself.

I spent last week and the beginning of this week talking to a lot of the best and brightest of the class of 2013.

Obviously, it's made me feel like an underperforming loser. It's made me feel a distinct lack of focus.

But I could do something. I'd like to apply for a creative writing program. I think. The one here is competitive. But I might try for it. Applications due in January.

Or I could just apply as a post-baccalaureate student and take some classes for fun. I've searched through the course catalog and so far, I'm interested in classes like Hebrew, Fashion Trend Analysis, Gender and Communication, The American Novel, Intro to Animal Sciences. See what I mean by a lack of focus?

And on that note, I don't really know what to say next. If you have any suggestions or advice, please leave them in the comments.

“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.” -Mark Twain

A tiny excerpt

My head is resting against the passenger side window of my boyfriend’s old Subaru, and it’s raining, so I’m playing the game I always play in cars: watching one rain drop eat up all the other, smaller raindrops. It’s like PAC-MAN, except PAC-MAN can eat those little, pixel balls of food forever and never grow or get full. Not the raindrops; they eventually get too full and heavy and end up sliding down the door of the car, and then the game has to start over again.

Promise Land

Friday night we got to see Promise Land!

I was very excited about this film. ...Mostly because of John Krasinski, because I'm a huge fan of the office, but also because of the subject matter: natural gas drilling.

I first learned about natural gas drilling in 2010 when I started reporting for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. My coverage area was right on top of the Fayetteville Shale, and I wrote lots of stories about how natural gas drilling affects the environment.

It turned out be an amazing experience, offering me experiences I never dreamed of: getting to write lots of amazing stories; learning complicated things about science and engineering and the environment; earning the trust of some pretty conservative city and county officials; pissing off some state senators; meeting one very courageous filmmaker named Josh Fox.

He made this documentary:

Of course, as a reporter, I was supposed to remain neutral, and I think I did a pretty good job of that in my writing at the time. But as a native Arkansan and as a HUMAN, the entire natural gas drilling process terrifies me. It absolutely terrifies me.

One of my frustrations with almost all the national media when it comes to this issue is that they focus on the areas of the country already hardest hit by fracking: Colorado and the Marcellus Shale in the Northeast.

Arkansas, along with parts of Oklahoma and Texas are being hardest hit RIGHT NOW, and the problem with Arkansas' Fayetteville Shale is that it's not as deep as other formations. That means that the chemicals, water and sand being injected at high pressures isn't going as deep into the ground as it is in other places... But, I'd like to talk to the person who thought shooting chemicals into the ground was a good idea in the first place. (I could go on and on about this forever...)

I love the simple fact that this film was made, but I love that it was made well. And, SPOILER, John Krasinski turns out to be the bad guy?! I'm not sure if that particular plot turn was realistic or not, but I'm sure a lot of the other parts of the movie was. In fact, I teared up when the people from "Global" met with landowners and basically bribed and blackmailed them into signing their rights away. I know the same thing happened in some of the amazing communities I covered back home, and it hurts me to think about.

Yes, the gas companies are supporting the community now. Back home in north-central Arkansas, they sponsor community events and help out any way they can. But what happens when they've sucked the shale dry and everyone's riddled with health complications?

I hope we figure out a solution before it comes to that. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, or if you want to learn more check out Promise Land (and Gasland). They're both great films!

On not being published (yet)

OK. So, I promised that part two of this NaNoWriMo thing would be about my journey to publication…

First, a quick update on where I am in this year's challenge: I'm caught up! I wrote my 1,667 words today, and now there are only two more days to go. Wow. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I finish. (That's not at all true. There's plenty to do!)

Anyway, I guess this story begins last year," when I finished NaNoWriMo 2011. I didn't actually plan on finishing. I gave up on my story after missing too many days of writing. I was a reporter at the time, and after writing all day for work, it turned out to be really hard to motivate myself to write fiction.

However, I took the week of Thanksgiving off and went down to Florida with my parents and my then-boyfriend, now-fiance. That week was pure relaxation…and a little bit of anticipation since we were planning on moving to Alabama from Arkansas in the weeks following.

So, I realized I had time to finish …so I did! I wrote several thousand words a day for those five-ish days and finished my novel!

And when I was done, I didn't hate it. I still really liked the premise, and my mind was already swimming with edits I wanted to make. But, I took a break from it. I'm still not sure if this is the right decision, but I suppose it had to be for me at the time since did in fact move to Alabama and start a new job/life/etc.

In February, I began the editing process. I edited, and I edited, which I've never really done before. I think there ended up being three drafts. During this time period - from February to about the end of May - we bought a printer!

I was super excited about it, and it has turned out to be such a nice thing to have! I learned that editing in hard copy with red pen? …there's actually something to that. I tend to pay more attention when things are down on real paper.

The next step was to write a great query letter. There are tons of online sources that will tell you how to do that. Mine does its best to appeal to the agent, talk about me and the project AND what inspired it - because that's important to me, I think.

So far, I've been rejected by a number of great literary agencies, and that's what I expected would happen. I think I have the right attitude. I hope I do anyway.

This is the first time I've edited a project and done this! It's GOOD to get rejected. Every writer says so - especially and famously, Stephen King: "My mother knew I wanted to be a writer (with all those rejection slips hanging from the spike on my bedroom wall, how could she not?),"

So, I'm preparing for several more in the coming weeks. I'm going to hold my head up. And, what I'm NOT going to do is keep pushing this project. I want to make sure that when I get published, it's with the right agent and the right project, and if this one isn't it…well, that's why I'm still writing.

NaNoWriMo 2012

Since my senior year in high school, I've always participated in, or at least thought of participating in National Novel Writing Month.

Actually, I finished in 2005, but didn't finish again until last year. In 2010, I wrote a story about it, which has to count for something, right?

As a writer, and aspiring novelist, I love NaNoWriMo! I love racing to meet a goal. This year, instead of writing 2,000+ words a day like I usually do, I've written the slow and steady 1,667, which is known as the "magic" number for NaNoWriMo participants. If you write 1,667 words EVERY day in November, you'll make it to 50,000. I'm pretty busy and pretty entrenched in this routine of mine, which I've come to love, and which keeps me sane, but I have had time to meet this goal so far with the exception of three days, which I've caught up with and made up for. So now, all that's left is this week: finishing it up & calling it a day er- month.

But, I've learned something this year, which I intend to share over the next few blog entries here. It's that I'm kind of over NaNoWriMo. The project is great for new writers: for people who have never written 50,000 words, or for people who want to do it just to see if they can. But, I don't even know how many writing projects I've finished in my life that I sprinted through and just ended up hating, and what I've written this month is just another one of those.

I want to grow as a writer in my own way starting from here on out. And for me, I think that means slowing down. It means planning more before I start and as I go. I might mean even doing some hard-core editing in the middle of things. But I'm OK with that.

I'll write later this week about the querying process for my first, real, official, edited project. Not surprisingly to me at least, it's not going great. I want the next thing I write (after November) to have a real shot at getting published.

I'm gonna try to make it work! Wish me luck.

Three day weekend

This three-day weekend nearly killed me a little bit. Mostly because of my sleep schedule being compromised.

We were so, super happy to have our first real visitor to our home in Montgomery. We've had couch surfers, yes, but this friend of mine came to visit US from Tennessee.

Of course, he stayed over because he was covering a game in Jacksonville, Ala. for the paper he works for, but I'll take an visitor I can get. Not many sane, normal people actually want to spend time in Montgomery for any reason.

Friday night was nice and relaxing: a spaghetti dinner and some West Wing.

On Saturday, after Aaron got off work and I got finished with yoga class, we watched some more West Wing and got down to the business of addressing our Save the Date postcards! We'll finally send them out later this week, and I am so excited to finally have that first big project done.

We also did laundry - a feat in itself because one of the washing machines in our apartment complex is broken - and we roasted a chicken, which I told you about before.

Then, we waited for Luke. We watched another episode of the West Wing and Aaron fell asleep. After that, I got a lot done: the dishes, writing a chapter for NaNoWriMo (though, I didn't write on Sunday, so now I'm behind on my word count for the first time this month, though hopefully not for long).

Luke's game went later than expected, and then he had to watch his Kansas State Wildcats win their game. I can't blame him, but he didn't roll into Montgomery until about midnight.

On Sunday, we made our way to Birmingham to take Luke to the climbing gym and out for some Chipotle. Yum. We also hit up one of our favorite spots in Montgomery: Leroy for drinks, which turned me around even further.

These days, having three beers right before bed is more of a workout than running 10 miles. It seriously messes with me. Yuck.

Monday, my bonus day off was as dreary as I felt after a night of drinking. We ventured out in the drizzle for some Starbucks and Chick-Fil-A and to walk around downtown. Aaron snapped these photos of Boone and me at the Riverfront:

And we returned to the couch for a West Wing marathon! If you haven't noticed, I think the permeating theme of the weekend was the West Wing. We have been watching the show for months now, but it starts out super slowly, and took me awhile to get into it. We absolutely flew through season two, and have now started season three.

If anyone spoils me on any part of the series, I will not be a happy Callie…

How was your weekend? :)

The good old days

So, lately I've been thinking over and over about how much I miss how the internet used to be. The days of yore, if you will, when things just seemed so much more fun. Theweb was new and shiny, and I was in fourth grade and in a special club of people who had brand new computers with internet connections...

Does anyone ever think about how FAST the internet is now compared to how it used to be? I just gave up watching a video because it wouldn't load fast enough for me. Back in the day, I would plan a whole day around loading an internet video, watch it in two minutes and then think about how cool it was to have just watched a VIDEO on the INTERNET. I mean, really.

And, I realized as I typed all that, that someday this will sound to my children like my mother did when she talked about her family getting their first TV back in the real "olden days" (just kidding!). But, I think something happened to my 8-year-old mind when I heard the AOL dial tone connect for the first time. It was like a drug I couldn't get enough of.

I embraced the dancing baby. My first favorite website was Ty.com where we could learn everything there was to know about my other favorite hobby at the time: beanie babies. Yup...

There was a creative group of young girls writing serialized stories on the internet and making pretty websites with beautiful, simple layouts and sparkly graphics.

I knew I had to be apart of it. But, back then, creativity was what made you cool on the internet...because we had to be so much more creative back then.

We had to teach ourselves HTML to make a website and come up with things to post there. We had LIVEJOURNAL and eventually XANGA, which became our outlets for expression.

You had to try harder. You had to know more. You had to sit in a chair at a desk with a mouse and a keyboard and a slow ass printer to get anything done. But we had Geocities, where you were assigned a web address based on what community you wanted to put your site in. There was Heartland Prairie and Enchanted Forest.

That helped connect you to a whole community of nerdy people learning the same things that you were...

And if you needed to be connected any more than that, there were WEBRINGS. Sometimes you had to be super popular for your site to be in a web ring, or sometimes you had to know the owner of it or your site had to be about a certain topic. In any case, it was amazing.

These days, you can put any old crap online, and since putting crap online is basically what I do for a living now, I'm honestly getting kind of bored of it.

To alleviate this, and, you know, if the whole world listened to me, I'd say we should bring back Geocities 1.0 - before Yahoo even played a role. We should bring back floppy disks (because the old versions of my treasured first websites only exist of floppy discs). We should show down connection speeds and have an internet renaissance.

We would all be better for it...

What are your favorite old internet memories? We should share them before we get too old and forget, right?

Voting in Alabama

I didn't research anything until the day before. Aaron said he doesn't care about most of the local amendments, but I still want to do the best I can for this place before I inevitably leave it.

I decided I wanted to vote for Bob Vance for Circuit Judge because he has the name as a semi-reoccurring character on The Office, and I just imagine him introducing himself to people as, "Bob Vance, Circuit Judge."

I voted YES to Amendment One, which will "Keep Alabama Wild," and preserve an important environmental program, which is important to me as a person who enjoys being outside in Alabama at the present time.

I voted YES to remove racist and terrible language from Alabama's constitution, which was apparently written in 1901.

I voted NO to combine a small town's water system with the city of Mobile, because I figure the small town wants to keep it's little water system and some people want to keep their jobs.

I voted to decrease the length of time between elections for county officials from 6 years to 4 years, because I think everyone gets bored after 4 and needs a change anyway.

And yes, I voted for four more years of Obama, even though the state is going to go red, and even though I apparently agree more with Jill Stein's position. I still support the President.

…I went to vote with Aaron when he got off work at 1:30. Our polling place is about a mile from our apartment on the campus of Huntingdon College, a cute, little Methodist school. There was no line, but a steady stream of people going in and out of the student center on a chilly, gray day.

I learned that all of the old people in Montgomery know each other. They say, "Hello theya" to each other when the hobble close enough to recognize their similarly old friends.

I just said, "Hah." to the old poll volunteers. They don't seem impressed that I'm the last name in their book and still have my Arkansas ID. They don't care that this is the last time Caroline ZILK will vote for a president. Next time, Caroline NEWTON will. She sounds like an old, English grandmother to me, but I'm sure I'll get used to that.

I had an hour off work, paid, to go do my civic duty, and since it didn't take that long, so we went to the cafe down the street that we usually only go to, to get some gelato after we have pizza at their sister restaurant. I got a cappuccino, and of course I wondered why I haven't been drinking this cappuccino for the almost-year that I've lived a mile from this cafe.

And now I feel all jittery… And now I've told you my whole election-day story. The end.

I don't even care anymore.

A week ago, I was talking with my boss's boss…my "big boss" or whatever, I guess. And, like office conversations so often are, our conversation was, by default, about the weather.

"It's been so nice lately," she said, of the rapidly changing weather.

"Yes ma'am. I've been loving it."

I told her spent my weekend rock climbing in Northeast Alabama and she because we were in the office, she brought up the weather again.

"You know," she said. "They get real snow up there in the winter! Isn't that crazy? I mean, I know you're from a place that gets real snow too, so…"

"No I'm not," I quickly interrupted.

She thought I was from Missouri, even though we've had this exact same conversation before.

"No," I corrected. "I'm from Arkansas. I just went to school in Missouri."

"Oh, well then you still get real snow in the winter."

"No."

"Yes you do."

Um…she was fighting with me?! Come on.

"Nope. Arkansas' weather is pretty much exactly the same as it is here," I said.

Looking back on this conversation, I probably should have gone along with her.

"Sure. It snows BUCKETS in Arkansas," I should have said. "it's like a freaking blizzard every year from November until fuckin February."

….yeah. I wasn't in the mood.

And so many days, I'm not.

Being down here is just wearing on me lately.

BUT!

There is light at the end of the tunnel right now, which is a good thing because I'm currently drinking my LAST Boulevard Wheat that I've been boarding in the fridge for months. (Hey, Boulevard is based in KANSAS CITY … that's in MISSOURI … it snows there SOMETIMES…)

The day after tomorrow (holy crap) I'll be driving to Arkansas, and on Tuesday I'll board a plane to Bozeman, Montana with Aaron to climb, camp and see all the western beauty for sixish days! After that it's back to Little Rock where we'll hang out with family and friends before heading up to Jasper for 24 Hours of Horseshoe Hell, a climbing competition at Horseshoe Canyon Ranch in Jasper.

I could not be more excited about this trip. I also could not be more bored now…because Aaron is already out of town (he'll get back Monday before we drive to Arkansas) in Las Vegas for his brother's bachelor party. Woooo.

And I'm suck here in this God-forsaken state. The game (Us vs. Alabama) is about to start.

I'd basically rather be anywhere else.

I'm gonna go finish my Boulevard now…

Petit Jean and other Places

I'll have a longer entry another time. Right now, though, I'm working on writing something more "real," that will hopefully go places other than this little blog that almost no one reads.

It's kind of about a sad, stuck feeling that I only feel when I start to make up problems about how life is right now.

Nothing's wrong. I live with the man I love, who takes care of me and inspires me and takes me on adventures and encourages my eccentricity (Callie-isms). I talk to my friends, far away, whenever I want. I practice yoga and run and climb and feel alive and healthy and whole. I have enough to eat. I have enough of everything, and I find beauty in simple, every day places.

But sometimes, when I see the Coosa or the Alabama River, I think about the Arkansas. When I look up at tall, Alabama sandstone, I miss walking over goat poo in my Chacos. When I run in my neighborhood I wonder who I'd be passing on the Big Dam Bridge & the River Trail. And mostly, every time I see a damn Alabama or Auburn ANYTHING, I miss sensible, like-minded Razorback fans.

It's not a feeling I have all the time. Not even most of the time. But, every once in awhile, I can close my eyes and see exactly the way the River coils through the farm land from the Petit Jean outlook...my favorite place.

Trying out a new format here …for the first time ever. Woo. Lets see if this sticks. I'm going to talk about: the things I'm eating, reading & doing on the weekends, because if I'm blogging once a week, I'm almost guaranteed to make at least one awesome meal, read at least one awesome book and have some awesome adventures!

Other AWESOME things that happened this week include Germany's victory & advancement in the Euro Cup. They'll take on Italy next, which will be a tough game. I've been cheering for and keeping up with the Deutscher Fussball Bund ever since studying in Stuttgart during the World Cup in 2006. I have such great memories from that time, and watching soccer makes me extra happy!

I skipped my long run, which I'd been planning for the end of last week. Now I'm hoping this Wednesday will be the day I run 11 miles. The more I talk about running long distances, the crazier I feel. But running feels good, so what are you gonna do?

Now on to the good stuff….

Amazing recipes of the week

Stuffed Zucchini

Made this for Wednesday dinner and it was delicious. While I've been a long-time lover of squash, for some reason, I never liked its green brother until about a year ago. I've been roasting a lot of zucchini since then, and one of my favorite ways to eat it has been Rebekah's zucchini-potato fritters. Delicious. But, I'd never stuffed zucchini before this week. I adapted the recipe a bit, and it mostly reminded me of making an old favorite, twice-baked potatoes. I think we will be doing this again. Served with some plain couscous, this was a filling & delicious meal.

Now, moving on to Friday's feast…

Chicken Echiladas

Enchiladas were something I didn't grow up eating at home for some reason, and I decided to try my hand at this for the first time a month or so ago. I did this the easy way: chicken cooked in taco seasoning lumped into tortillas with canned enchilada sauce over the top. Sometimes I enjoy doing things the easy way. And sometimes I do things like this --- the really hard way! This is one of the most labor intensive recipes I've ever undertaken. Let me just skip ahead & give you a giant spoiler: it was so, so worth it. But, everything is from scratch in this recipe except the tomato sauce and the tortillas themselves. I even grated cheese, people. I never grate cheese, and I've never been so impressed with myself for cooking something so delicious before. Thankfully, we could barely finish one large enchilada a piece on Friday night, and since we were mostly out of the house all weekend, there are still some of these bad boys left to be enjoyed today. I can't wait for lunch!

Blackberry pie bars

Blackberry cobbler is one of Aaron's favorite desserts, so when I saw this recipe pinned by Flickr, I knew it was only a matter of time before it would be in my belly. It looked too good and too easy …and it was. I whipped this up while the chicken for the enchiladas were cooking. I was worried about the crust. I don't think I've ever been instructed to cook with chilled butter. Instead, It's always at room temperature for cake, cookies, frostings, etc., and I was worried about the texture of the crust. But, duh, the butter globs in the flour just makes it extra flakey & crispy & awesome. We ate this pretty much right out of the oven with some vanilla ice cream, so there wasn't too much "bar" about it, but now that they're cool, I may try to chop them up into serving sizes. …or, you know, just eat them out of the pan.

What I read…

Did I mention I've been reading a lot? I joined Goodreads awhile ago, so you can keep up with me there. For some reason, something has gotten into me, and I've already read over 50 books this year! I started the A Song of Ice and Fire series on the beach this weekend, and I'm also currently reading Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter, which is amazing & yes, beautiful so far.

But, here's a bit of what I read last week…

Wanderlove by Kirsten Hubbard

A fun little book about a girl traveling in South America. She's fresh off a recent breakup and uses traveling and meeting interesting characters as her therapy. This was no great literary feat or anything. To be honest, I've been reading a ton of pretty trash young adult fiction lately, and I'm perfectly fine with that. This was, however, a great, light summer read. It would be great for the beach.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

This is another "I-broke-up-with-a-boy-so-I'm-going-to-travel" book. Except this is a true story of a badass woman hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. I've been looking forward to reading this for awhile, but I have to gear myself up for non-fiction. This book reminded me of a much more literary, much more serious version of A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, which, I learned while reading in May, everyone freaking loves. I'm not sure if I'm made for long hikes, but I do love reading about them. This author has a great voice. I loved the way she intertwined details from her past through her journey forward on the trail.

Chicken with Plums by Marjane Satrapi

I read this book in one sitting on the way to Birmingham on Thursday afternoon. The only other graphic novel I've ever read was Satrapi's Persepolis. I loved it, and I heard Chicken with Plums is being released as a film this summer. I'd love to see another film like the adaptation of Persepolis, and this author is great, so I decided to check it out. I can't say too much about the story because it's so short, I might spoil it, but trust me when I say that it absolutely blew my mind. This 80-page story is totally worth a read. It's a beautiful book.

Weekend adventures

After a much-needed night in on Friday, I was excited to head to the beach on Saturday. We'd talked about going to Dauphin Island, which is apparently dog friendly, but we rethought our plans and kept Boone at home for this trip to Orange Beach instead. The drive felt longer than the last time we made it in November …probably because I was excited to get there. Though, actually, I like the gulf coast better in November as well. Quieter, cooler. Still, I had to dip my toes in the ocean just once this summer.

We made it to the beach at about noon and went for a swim. The tide was high, and I got a little beaten up by the waves and had a blast. A few kids on a church trip were handing out free freeze ice, which was amazing! Besides swimming and walking along the coast, we laid down in the sand to read for a bit. I started Game of Thrones, and Aaron started The Curious of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. This made my heart happy because Aaron isn't a reader, but he was giggling at this narrator's amazing voice the whole time he was reading. I hope he'll finish it soon, because I loved the book myself.

All in all, we were on the beach for three hours, and even though we applied sunscreen, we're still a little crispy today, unfortunately. After our beach experience, we had dinner at a beach bar-type place, and I ate crab! This is a big deal. This is the first sea food since I was forced to eat fish sticks as a child that I actually enjoy. We'll see what happens from here. Aaron says his goal is for me to be sucking on crawdads in the next few years. Yuck!

I was happy with my crab on top of fried green tomatoes, salad and a pina colada while I watched folks roll in from a red snapper tournament earlier that day.

Saturday we climbed at Sand Rock, which is becoming our new favorite crag. This time we took a couple of new friends along, which was fun. I'm happy to share our rope with people who have as much fun climbing as we do. Probably the most exciting part of the trip, though, happened as soon as we were pulling up. A hot piece of glass near a bush had sparked a wild fire, which we and four other climbers put out with dirt and water. It was a very valiant effort, I must say.

I'm dragging so far this Monday morning. Hopefully my coconut water will help. I think I'll feel much more settled as the week goes on, as I usually do.

indian in the french quarter ... 10 miles ... rain

I started last week out in New Orleans. Through a strange twist of events, I had to visit our regional office there for work. I headed down Sunday evening with our company’s deputy legal director.

She had dinner with the head of the office and a few higher-ups, and since I’m not important (read: not a lawyer), I was left to my own devices. I had an Indian food craving, and found a few options in the French Quarter, near my hotel, so I wandered around for a bit until it started to get dark. Then, I made my way to Salt & Pepper, a middle-eastern, Pakistani type-restaurant where I ordered a chicken curry & some naan.



The shop owner asked me if I was French. Apparently, to Pakistanis, I look French?

Me: “No, I’m mostly Scandinavian and German.”
Him: “Oh, Sprechen Sie Deutsch?”

Me: “Ja. Ein Bisschen.”

He asked me why I decided to study the language, and I said “Just because,” and we talked a little bit more. I walked my food back to the hotel and watched “My Big, Fat, American Gypsy Wedding” while I ate. I don’t usually watch those reality TV shows, but they can kind of suck me in, and this one was insane.

I took a bath and went to sleep in my king-sized bed. I’d like to say that I sprawled out in it, but I generally sleep curled up into a ball. It doesn’t matter how giant my bed is. I still sleep curled up in a ball.

The next morning, I woke up early, grabbed a coffee and danish from the Starbucks in the lobby of our hotel and waited for my co-worker...

We went to the office, which is so much more charming than ours here in Montgomery. I worked until it was time to make my little presentation to about 10 legal interns. I’m trying to teach them how to do journalistic-style interviews for a project this summer. Yes, and they are legal interns...genius.

We didn’t get back until about 6:30 on Monday, and after being cooped up for two days, basically, I had to go to the gym for a workout/run on the treadmill.

The rest of the week went by pretty quickly & uneventfully. I neglected grocery shopping, which means we ate out a lot, unfortunately.

When we lived back home, we ate most meals out, but since moving here, I've been on my cooking spree and happy to be in the kitchen, eating healthier & spending less money.

Friday morning I completed my first 10-mile run! It felt good. I ran the first two miles slower than usual, but still completed my first 5 miles with a sub-10-minute pace, which is fast for me. I usually run a mile right at 10, and a little over that when I get past 6ish miles. I cramped up a bit, got lost on my route, but things didn't feel terrible until the last 1.5 mile mark. I got to see a beautiful sun rise, a guy accidentally come out of his house in his underwear to get his paper (I guess he assumed no one would be running by so early), and some drug paraphernalia in the street. Ah, Montgomery. I got home, stretched out & ate four pieces of bacon while standing in the shower.



Friday night, Aaron and I decided to finally go see a Biscuits baseball game. I think the biscuit logo is adorable. And yes, they do sell a variety of biscuits at the game. We did not eat healthy. We had some biscuits and gravy ...and a Coke ...and a funnel cake ...and a pretzel. Yup. It was a good night, even though we lost & didn’t even stay till the end. It was actually chilly outside! I'm so surprised at the weather in Montgomery. It's been cooler than I thought it would be for June …and rainy.

The forecast for the weekend all last week promised sun on Saturday. What did we wake up to? A gray sky. Aaron went to work, and I went to the grocery store. I hopefully bought chicken, snacks & s'mores makings. By the time I got home, it was raining, and the terrible weather front was heading east. There was no way we would beat it.

Dejected, once he got home from work, we took a three-hour nap, watched the Iron Lady & ate Chick-Fil-A for dinner. Meryl Streep was amazing, I thought. But I would have liked to see more detail, even though this was such a character-driven movie, only because I didn't learn much about the NRA conflict in school, unfortunately. I did take an EARLY Irish History class in college, so we obviously didn't make it to the 1980s. I'll have to do some independent reading on the issue, I suppose.



Because I'd wanted to go camping so badly, I decided to put up the tent in the living room on Saturday night. We ate the s'mores for dessert anyway, and Aaron played me pretty music on his new guitar. Yes, we slept on the floor, and it was rejuvenating. I suggest everyone camp out in their living room/bedroom/backyard if they get the chance to.

We had almost decided to stay home on Sunday. I didn't want to drive to Atlanta to go to the big, overwhelming climbing gym there for the second weekend in a row, and the Birmingham bouldering gym has been closed for painting and renovations since last Monday. The were scheduled to reopen today, the 11th, but, thankfully, I noticed their triumphant Facebook update on Saturday evening: "First Ave is opening a day early!!! We will be open tomorrow with regular hours. Big thanks to our staff and all of you who volunteered. The place looks amazing."

Problem solved. We got to climb on the freshly painted, textured walls & all new problems! We also made a stop at the mall, which was unsuccessful for me, but Aaron got a shirt from Lululemon. I guess all my raving about their awesomeness finally rubbed off on him. I still can't get him to come with me to yoga class, though.

We ate Mellow Mushroom & grabbed some Cheesecake Factory for the road home …away from civilization.



As long as the weather holds, and we find someplace for our monster to stay overnight, we will be heading to this event next Saturday. Stay tuned to hear all about it….

it's june

Lets just not get into the whole, "I haven't blogged in awhile, ba-derp-a-derrrr..." You know, I've documented my life in various places online, and inevitably, I return to them, read or look back over and hate how I look/sound/come across. It's just funny how times change, how people [I] grow.

I was recently talking to Rebekah about how it's hard for her to focus her food blog because she likes too many different kinds of food. I can't even begin to dream of focusing a blog on even any one subject. I've thought about creating blogs about...

• food: this one would be kind of a, "Oh, look how I struggle, and how I really hate this" kind of blog/project. I've gone through spurts in cooking. The first was in college, when I first lived on my own and first figured out how to make more than instant mac & cheese and frozen pizzas. The second was when I first really lived on my own in Michigan for three months. I didn't have many friends. I didn't want to eat fast food or go to restaurants by myself, so I started getting in the kitchen a lot more. I mostly made various kinds of casseroles to eat throughout the week. My current spurt may be unending, because I live with a boy now, and boys eat a lot of food. ;) It's just a lot more fun to cook for the two of us than just for me. Aaron helps me out when he can, and he's always more than appreciative of my efforts.
• books: I love to read. I love to read more than I love to do just about anything. I've recently been watching a few book-tubers on the Youtubes ... and reading book blogs and keeping my Goodreads account meticulously updated. I could do what they do, right? Meh. I'd really mostly rather be reading than talking about reading...but still, maybe.
• fitness: because I've been doing a ton of this lately ...working out. Since January I've been lifting, running, climbing, swimming, practicing yoga and taking aerial silks classes (correction - I took one aerial silks class, but I'd really, really like to go to another one soon, so I'm adding it to the list anyway). Wouldn't it be fun to follow my fitness progress? Maybe. But, if I were to write a fitness blog, it would mostly just highlight my athletic mediocrity. "OMG, guys I totally flailed on this 5.10a today. ... Sheesh, a 30-minute 5k. Speedy, huh? ... I swam faster than the fat, old man in the lane next to mine! Go team!" Yup...crossing this one off the list. Still, I'm not competitive, except with myself, and it feels good to be moving a lot!

Anyway, forget all of that. There's no way I could ever write a blog on one subject. I like too many things. "Jack of all trades, master of none, blah blah." So, I give up. This is what you people get to read ...if you're still paying attention.

And if you are, here are some updates:

I still love writing - even though I don't get to say it's what I do for a living anymore. I've still been doing plenty of writing and editing. I'm in the final stages of editing my national novel writing month novel from this past November. It's going well, except for that somewhere between writing it and this round of editing it, I've lost a semi-important 2k chunk of the story somewhere. I'm starting to feel pretty unorganized. I might take a break. I decided two days ago that I'm going to camp ...and participating in the summer writing challenge. Why not? I think it'll feel good to get some new ideas down on (virtual) paper.

In other creative news, Aaron and I shot our first wedding together. Two of his friends got married two weeks ago in downtown Little Rock, so we hightailed it back home for a whirlwind weekend. I think we did a pretty good job of it. I'm not sure if it's something we'll make a habit of, except for friends and family. But, I liked playing assistant and capturing some special moments. Maybe I'll post some photos here or on flickr soon.

In more fitness-related news, I have a goal I finally feel ready to share with the world. I'm "training" for a half-marathon! Specifically, I want to run this half marathon, which takes place the weekend before Aaron and I plan to fly to Montana for an almost week-long climbing trip (which I couldn't be more excited for)! I'm up to nine miles. I'll make an attempt at my first 10-miler sometime next week. For those of you who know me - or more specifically - who went to elementary school with me and remember me being unable to complete a .25-mile-ish run around the playground - this is HUGE. I've always hated running, and I still do, to be honest. The only good part about it is the runner's high after it's over. I'm shocked every time I meet a new distance goal, and I've never felt so thankful for my health and just being able to move forward than I do after a run. I'm still ridiculously slow, but I'll deal with that later ...maybe ...ugh.

There's lots of good, new music out lately. I love the new Jack White album ... Sigur Ros ... Edward Sharpe ... etc. A few months ago I read an article in the amazing Garden & Gun about a cajun band called Feufollet. We've been jamming to them ever since. Incidentally, their music is pretty awesome to run to! The way I've listened to music has also changed with the advent of Spotify. I'm late talking about this, but I wasn't late to the game! I got one of the first U.S. accounts, and have been loving it ever since. I have a playlist called "albums I want" instead of buying them on iTunes. Crazy. Music, though, is still a love that's been kind of pushed away, semi-recently. Listening to music throughout the day wasn't possible at my last job, but it now, and for that I'm thankful. Recommendations are always welcome and appreciated.

On a more timely note, today is Aaron's 27th birthday! 27 sounds old, huh? Aaron doesn't seem old, though. He seems just the right age. I'm planning a cake, gifts and a trip to our favorite local haunt for dinner. I'd love to find some good ice cream or gelato. This post from one of my favorite California-based blogs has my mouth watering for it. Last night, I remembered that we've been together for two rounds of birthdays now. It's officially a year and a half now. I tried to remember what we did for my birthday this year. It seemed uneventful. Then I remember, it was actually the first visit we made to El Ray, and I had a delicious mojito and some mushroom quesadillas.

Times like this do make me homesick, though. If we were home, we might go out with friends tonight and have a family dinner with Aaron's dad & co. this weekend, or in a week or two... but, we're all alone. Which is still not the easiest thing. And even though I've been here for over six months now, the new town still feels new. Nothing (besides our beautiful, amazing apartment) is settled in, really. Today, this feeling probably isn't being helped out by the gray skies and drizzly rain, which prevented Boone and me from going on a run. Oh well.

Sorry for all the words. I hope the links were helpful and interesting, and least, and hopefully whatever posts follow will at least be broken up by some pretty pictures. Until then...

on moving forward

Aaron finally made it down to Montgomery for good. on Sunday. Before he arrived, I started watching Felicity on Netflix, cleaned the house & did laundry, cooked and generally did my best to soak up my last little bit of living alone. Crazy. ...and I said I'd never have another roommate.



Yesterday we finally made it over to Horse Pins 40 for some bouldering. We ate Chick-Fil-A in Prattville and Chipotle in Hoover and scored a good deal on a hang board for the apartment, and I found a three-year-old down Patagonia vest for half-off. The very friendly folks at Mountain High Outfitters told me it had been lost in a warehouse for years... I think it was waiting for me. It may be my new favorite clothing item.

Basically, a pretty good three-day weekend with lots to look forward to this week: unpacking, seeing my aunt on Thursday and getting paid again!

finishing a novel

I have no idea how, but I wrote 50,000 words in 28 days. I haven't written this much and this consistently since high school. I am thrilled and relieved to be done! But, as I've described to a few people already, I feel like I just birthed a really ugly, really sickly baby who needs lots of surgeries and things to survive...

It's gonna be fine. It just needs a little TLC first.

So, that's what's next. I finished mid-day yesterday, and I've just started reading what I did....I'm making a ton of editing notes, and hopefully in another month or a few, this ugly baby will be ready to be formally presented in one way or another.

Thanks for all your support!

being a journalist

Today is my last day as a writer/reporter at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, and for right now, I suppose it's my last day as a "real" journalist. In my new job, I won't be able to technically tell people I'm a journalist anymore. Writer? Yes. I have always been, and will always be a writer. That kind of designation does not change with a job description.

But, since it's my last day working for the state-wide newspaper here in Arkansas, I thought I'd make a list of what I've learned here...



1. Ethics are still important
I started this job when I was 22, and now I'm 24. I've been a woman the whole time. ;) It's hard being a young woman in the South and staying ethical as a journalist. I had dinner with police chiefs and with city mayors who felt obligated to pay for me. Small town chamber banquets wanted me to eat their catered food, and as I got to know these people and take part in their community it got harder to resist.
In journalism school, I learned never to accept gifts... but what if they're forced upon you? What if the mayor grabs the bill before you can tell him he can't? What if people will be offended if you don't eat their home-made pie? What if someone mails you a really weird necklace made from a domino (true story...)?
It helped me to use the line, "I can't let you pay for that. It's company policy. You don't want to get me in trouble do you?"
But sometimes that doesn't even work.
I say, it's a judgment call. Be as ethical as you can all the time. But in the South, you do have to play the game a little differently, and I think that's OK.

2. Get out of your comfort zone
Some very uncomfortable things happened to me in this job. I had to say, "Hi, this is Caroline Zilk with the River Valley and Ozark Edition of the Democrat-Gazette," about 15 times a day for two years. That in itself is exhausting.
I had to talk to people who had lost their homes in natural disasters and mayors who hated my guts enough to kick me out of city hall.
Was it tough? Yes. Was it rewarding? Yes.
Push through the awkward feelings and hold back the tears. Get the job done.

3. Make friends
Sources are not on some kind of white pedestal. They can be your friends outside of work, and they will help things run smoothly.
I've written before about how I feel especially at home in Heber Springs. A lot of that is due to Melisa Gardner, the executive director of the chamber of commerce there. I learned a lot from her during my time here: most "importantly," I guess is what was going on in town & who the interesting characters were. More than that though, she is an example of the kind of woman I'd like to be someday. She is a strong, independent woman who runs a great organization and is always kind, and she's a great mom to three very talented sons. She is an encourager, a supporter, and I will miss her dearly along with all of the other people I've connected with throughout my coverage area.

4. Use your skills
To the convergence bunch who might be reading: I took this job to write, and only to write. At a big newspaper that employs photographers to take pictures and a web staff to deal with the online side of things. But, I did get to shoot a little bit, design a little bit and help out with the web a little bit. You can make it what you want. If you have the skills, find a way to use it. A good editor or supervisor will appreciate that you're talented and willing to step outside your box.

5. When in doubt, keep your head down
The top thing I wish Mizzou would have prepared me for that it didn't, necessarily, was the actual work environment at a media outlet. Or maybe it was just me being all inexperience and innocent. I thought doing what I like to do every day would mean that things were perfect. They aren't, and that's a big reason why I'm moving on. I have learned that there are problems in every work place - you just have to strike a balance and learn how to deal with it.
When things are bad though, sometimes the best you can do is keep your head down, try not to be noticed and look for the silver lining.

I'm so lucky to have had this opportunity to truly come home for awhile. I moved to Little Rock as a child not too long after the newspaper wars ended, and the Democrat and the Gazette became one, and I really did (for the most part) love working at my home-town paper and covering the beautiful, amazing and interesting people throughout the River Valley and Ozark area. I'm thankful for all of the great memories and stories I have to take with me.

starting a novel

November means NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), which means ...a lot of writing, if I'm participating, which I've attempted to do for the past several years. November just seems busy, and, of course there are always a million reasons not to do something.

I'm baffled that some people are still just hearing about this project for the first time this year, and still baffled at other people who can't seem to make it past the first few hundred words ....people will silly mantras like, "the secret to writing is writing."

Um, I guess that's true. Sure....

I don't know what to say about it. You've got to want it. It's a "head down, power through," kind of deal.

I prefer to participate kind of on my own without plugging my words into the site. I don't tend to to thrive on support from others. Instead, I do my best to push myself, and lately, give myself the benefit of the doubt when I know I'm busy and just sick of writing all day anyway...

at home in heber springs

For the past 20 months I've been writing stories about some of the best small communities in the state of Arkansas. One of my favorites has become Heber Springs. I don't think saying that makes me a biast journalist.
People gravitate toward certain places. My friend Sasha has never been to Paris, but she believes it holds some kind of great magic for her. A coworker spent a year or so in Prague. It's like home for him. Several former classmates knew they would find solace in New York.
So, I guess for me, it's this little city on Greers Ferry Lake in north-central Arkansas. It's a beautiful place: a man-made lake created from flooded farmland. The long-time natives still talk about what it was like when they built the lake ...when former presidents visited to see the dam dedicated.
And the people that tell these stories are characters. Everyone knows everyone. We laugh at the mayor, shy away from Old Mr. Garner (only because he won't let you go once he's started talk to you), we roll our eyes at the boisterous bakers.
There are people there with real talent: Business men and women, artists, spiritual leaders and the best kind of politicians.
I've come to care about them, for some reason. They've made it hard not to.

I've felt the breeze coming off the lake. I can close my eyes and hear the songs of white trumpeter swans that find a home there in the spring. I see the pride in the faces of youth when they do things like raise money for a new library...

So...all that being said...I have no idea how or why I've never attended the World Championship Cardboard Boat Races. The annual event is what it sounds. People build boats out of nothing more than cardboard, duct tape and wood glue. Then, they man them and race them across the lake for ...kicks, bragging rights, trophies.

Aaron and I went on Saturday. He shot these lovely "fotes":







Yup, the "batmoboat" collapsed in that last one. That happens plenty. My friend Matthew's boat actually didn't make it past the starting line.

The event is just as quirky as the rest of the town is. The boats have to pass ice picks and metal detector tests. When the championship is finished, there's a Titanic Derby, to see which boat can last the longest in the lake while others crash into it. Some boats are used year after year. People think it's life or death sometimes.

I enjoyed Saturday. I wandered around ...snapped a few photos (mostly of Aaron snapping photos ...isn't he cute?)



I talked to my friend Gary, who was announcing the races. He let me talk over speaker system for a minute, and told everyone to read the paper! I was mostly just thrilled, as always, to take in beauty of the lake and the inspiring community that surrounds it.